ive made the wrong choice. i cant go back and i cant fix it. i just want to fall asleep and never wake up. i want my soul mate back. i want my life. i want my cat. i want i want i want. i always want and its destroyed me. my wants arent more important than hers. im not more important than her. i am nothing. nothing nothing nothing nothing. shes always in my mind and in my heart. i miss her with every fiber of me. i can feel it in my bones. i need to move on though. because i cant keep being miserable. i cant keep cutting. i cant keep thinking again and again how easy it would be to make it all stop. i just want it to stop. i am empty again. its her. shes what made me whole. what made me human. im just a monster now, i cant be real without her. im nothing without her. i need to forget her. i need to move on. shes stronger than i am. shes always been stronger. im already a distant memory to her, a smoky piece of her past.
I think the only reason why people hold on to memories is because memories are the only thing that don’t change when everything and everyone else does.
fuck memories. and fuck everyone ive shared a moment with. clearly i mean nothing.